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"For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." I lived on the banks of a river . . . and it captured my attention. These are my observations about the parallels between my life...and the river.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rejection

Rejection is one of life's most difficult, painful things to deal with. No matter who it's coming from, or how old we are, it hurts.

"We regret to inform you that the promotion you've been working toward for the past 3 years has been given to someone else."

"You know, I just don't think you are/have what I'm looking for in a partner." "I know I asked you to stand up for me at my wedding, but I changed my mind . . ."

Rejection comes in many different ways. And no matter the situation, it always leaves us feeling insufficient.

Am I not good enough? Not pretty enough? Not a good enough friend? But what about all I've given, even
sacrificed, to be in that place? Was it all for nothing?

And we are left with many questions. A little more alone than we were before, with a little less hope about the job, the relationship, whatever it is that we were rejected from.

Rejection is a part of life. Much like death. It is painful, but sometimes necessary. Some people need to learn how to reject in a gentle, loving way, (i.e. NOT through email and not by assigning blame) but even in the gentlest, kindest form, it still hurts. It still leaves us e m p t y.

Having found myself on the receiving end of a few rejections this past week, I was in a fragile emotional state. Alternating between tears and hurt feelings, anger and indignance.

What do you mean I'm not good enough? Do you have ANY idea how hard I'm working?!

What do you mean you don't need me any more?
Do you even have
ONE CLUE how indebted you are to me?

What do you mean you've moved on and have new friends?
Does everything I've poured into this relationship for the past 5 years mean nothing to you?

In the middle of feeling the hurt and asking the questions and crying the tears, I went to the river. I wasn't sure why, but I felt it calling to me.

The surface was still as glass. No rushing waters, no raging rapids. These were in my heart and mind instead. But the river was peaceful.

I found myself pouring my heart out. Releasing all the pain an anger over what had been done to me, and letting the peace of the river seep into my soul.

And I started to feel a little bit better.

Not that it didn't hurt anymore, just that the raging storms were starting to be calmed.

Sitting by the river is almost like sitting at the feet of Jesus.
He asks us to bring our cares and burdens and lay them at His feet.
In return, He offers peace to calm our troubled souls.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Always enjoy what you've written. I feel the pain in the heart I know.