So I was out. For 2 full days. I was so upset about not being able to go. I was talking to a friend on the phone in the afternoon and I was crying because I was sick and in pain, and because I was mad that I wouldn't be able to see my family.
Yes, I was crying. Being sick breaks down my defenses, OK? I was pretty much a basketcase. Not a pretty sight. (But I am better now. More in control of my emotions, at least!)
Being the good friend that he is, my tears didn't bother him. He just listened and tried to calm me down a little. (Apparently being hysterical doesn't really aid the healing process) He prayed for me, which calmed me down, then he told me to wait until the morning to make my final decision on whether to go or stay. Hey, maybe there would be a nighttime miracle and I would be better in the morning!
Or maybe not.
The next morning I was totally wiped out, (as in, could barely get out of bed) and realized that it would be foolish to attempt a 5 1/2 hour drive alone. He called to see how I was and I told him I was staying home. He agreed with the wisdom in that, then said something that usually sounds a little cliche, but somehow, he made it sound reasonable.
"You know, nothing happens by accident. I really think that there is a reason that you got sick, a reason that you're supposed to stay home."
In my mind I'm thinking, 'Sure, yeah, make it sound good. I'm still mad.'
But then this morning, I got an email from another friend who knew I was sick and cancelled my plans to go out of town. She said the same exact thing! Coincidence? Maybe.
But seeing as I do believe that the God of the Universe holds my life in His hands, and that He has a plan for me, and that He provides each breath that I breathe, I realize that I do have to agree with what they said. I may never know the reason. Maybe I would have been involved in a serious accident. Maybe I would have missed out on something special here, at home. (Actually, I did spend a fun evening with friends tonight, even if I am still dragging and not at my full energy level)
Who knows? I certainly don't know the answer. And when my mom called today to see how I was feeling and tell me what they were doing on vacation, yes, I was a little sad. Yes, I do miss them. Yes, I really wanted to spend a few days with them.
Hey, maybe the big thing that was supposed to happen this weekend is me growing up enough to make a wise decision. I wanted so badly to get in my car and make that drive -- and I probably could have made it through sheer determination! But I would have worn myself ragged and probably gotten sicker. I know that I would not have been ready for work again on Monday! So for me to make the decision to stay home and rest, well that shows a bit of growth for me! :-) Some responsibility even. Thinking ahead and making a decision based on all the factors, not just instant gratification.
So, I guess I'll probably never know the "true reason" why I had to cancel my vacation. But that's OK. I trust that my life is in the hands of One Who knows much more than I do. And I will enjoy the rest of this weekend, whatever it may bring.
These things happen for a reason!
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